Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Coming Clean, Going Legit, etc.

This is an addendum to my "All I got for Christmas" blog. I was surprised by how many people have actually expressed concern for me.

Wow. You really do like me! (Yeah, I did a Sally Field thing there....ha ha)

But I should tell you that I thrive in the face of chaos. So I'm really kind of pumped. Plus, I exaggerated the knee thing. Went to the doc this AM, it's a dislocated patella. Which, if you've ever met me, you know ain't no thang to me. I've done this like 5 times before. It's a breeze. Just a couple of weeks away from clowning chumps on the dance floor, and voila! I'll be all mobile again.

I also should say that I am ACTIVELY looking for a job now. My plan is to network like mad. Please let me know of ANY networking meetups, job openings, or pathetic saps you know of that could help me (or that I could entrap and suck the life/money out of.)

The personal life hoo-ha I'm keeping on the DL for now until something noteworthy happens. In the meantime know this: I BELIEVE IN LOVE, PEOPLE. Clap your hands if you believe too!!! You too, Tinkerbell.

LOVE will rule in 09. If we let it....

Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Refinery29: Sound Waves -- music, new, releases, playlist

The top 20 tracks of 08, by style-phile site Refinery 29. Check it like old-school listening lab style:)

read more | digg story

All I got for Christmas was broken up with

I should be blogging about technology and whatnot considering I'm totally unemployed and verging on poverty, but screw it. Just call me rebel. I'm going for transparency--it feels so fresh right now. (And apparently I like to indulge in feeling sorry for myself in front of a quasi-audience. Maybe you should call me exhibitionist.)

Round 1:
Decided to go to Tahoe with the boyfriend this Christmas. He loves to snowboard, and a really good girlfriend of mine has a house near Squaw with a guest room--So there it was.

Just prior to leaving however I started to realize this may not be the best idea ever. It was revealed that many other guests with much alcohol and mischief were also planning to come up to the same house, and I could foresee this chilled out snowboarding trip turning into a tequila-fueled bacchanalia. Not that I'm generally opposed to such events--just not during the holidays. Feels a little creepy.

Round 2:
Despite my better judgment, boyfriend and I get on the road and head towards Tahoe. I brought champagne along for the road. Also probably not the best idea ever.

Two hours in, I was picking on boyfriend's driving chops. He was trying to remain silent. I was getting more boozy by the minute.

The snow is falling heavier now, and the fact that we're in a rear wheel drive BMW is just now dawning on me. Drunkenly, I sulk.

Round 3:
Boyfriend and I pick up another friend of ours on the way to Tahoe. The snow is falling really heavily now, and I'm drunk enough to attempt becoming BFF with my friend's tipsy mother. We pose for pictures and pronounce eachother as undying allies. I slip and fall on the way back to the car.

Round 4:
In the mountains of North Tahoe, the three of us are pulled over by a Chain Check police blockade. "Crazy night for driving. You got chains?"

Boyfriend pulls out his chains and I sit becoming bitchier with worry by the second. Boyfriend tries to put chains on, to no avail. Thirty minutes pass and finally the other friend has joined in on the boyfriend's efforts to put the chains on the tires.

Round 5:
With the chains attached and my head in the clouds, the three of us head off toward the house. At this point I'm too drunk to remember where I've put the address, but I don't let the boys know this yet.

The chains fall off the tires and I begin calling boyfriend a "useless fuck."

No, I'm not a happy drunk.

Round 9:
I'll save you the hellishness of hearing every detail, but suffice it to say that by the time we arrived at the house - (by the hair of our chinny chin chins, considering I'd lost the address,) I had unleashed such a torrent of rage and hatred onto my boyfriend that he was utterly destoyed.

The finale to my grand Christmas moment was when I fell on the ice in front of my friend's house and blew out my knee. Again. ACL. Torn.

Still would all be okay except that the boyfriend wants to break up. That makes me an unemployed, gimpy, broken-up with girl.

2009?! Save me?!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

All my friends are nerds. And this is a good thing.

Here's some cool nerd gifts if you are actually buying holiday presents this year, (unlike myself, who is planning on evangelizing the out-ness of Christmas and holiday gifts. So last year. So last century. L-A-M-E.

Not to be a total scrooge. But yeah, gifting feels inherently passive aggressive to me--Even bordering on preachy, guilt-inducing and just overall a recipe for disaster, since you probably won't even like the gifts you do receive, and others will likewise be disappointed in what you give them.

At least that's what I'm telling my unemployed ass this year. But no, I'm not a hater.

Do yourself a favor and join me in my manta: Holiday gifting is so last year. Feels the opposite of modern, like buying unsustainable cheap furniture from Ikea or something. At the very least, you'll save some scratch this season.

Still, if you have HOT nerd friends that you can't resist giving gifts to, check out the link here and just give the gift to them on the 26th or something. Not a holiday gift then. Just a show of appreciation.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I got the boot

And it's not the lace-up chunky heeled ones I've been coveting. I got laid off from my job yesterday. I totally saw it coming. The agency had lost clients and work many times over since I'd been there, and there had already been a few rounds of lay-offs prior to mine that had left the office space barren and stirred up my suspicions.

So now I'm doing the unemployment thing. It's my first time. I'm an unemployment virgin. If you are too, let me share some tips. I'll give you some personal ones, and then post a link to another site that's all about unemployment. Unemploymentality 24/7.

What I've learned is that being unemployed is very similar to being employed in that you make it what it is. For instance, my attitude towards getting the ax has been very positive. It was a needed change. Advertising has lost a lot of the sexiness and ability to inspire. I could go on in haterade fashion, but that would probably be fairly retarded of me, so 'nuff said. The point is: I was able to see getting laid off as a potential opportunity, etc. This is a good attitude to take when you (perhaps) get the ax too.

Next thing that is helpful to know as an unemployed person is to remember that NOBODY WANTS TO DOLE OUT MONEY TO YOU. You'll find that making your unemployment claim isn't quite as simple as your HR exit interviewer might have made it sound. When I called the number listed on the brouchure of the Cali Unemployment Insurance office, I got a recorded message that told me to log on to the website to make a claim. Then it hung up on me.

Of course (you can probably see this coming) when I went online to file the claim, the error message advised me to call the number that had the useless recorded message.

Annoying. Yes.

But just like at your normal workplace, you're gonna have to extend yourself a little. Find the closest unemployment office and show up in person. This can be harder than expected too. In my case, the phone representative I eventually got through to told me that I wouldn't be able to file the claim in person. It was only possible by dialing the useless recorded message number or by logging on to the site that only gives error messages. And no, she can not file the claim. Not her job. She lied like a rug.

I didn't believe the the hype, and instead took to the streets. I live in the Tendernob directly across the street from Cup-a-Joe cafe, where many unemployed looking types hang out and steal free wifi all day. I figured I'd give the cafe a shot. Jackpot. I simply walked into the cafe, and announced: "I just got laid off. Anybody know where the unemployment office is?"

Ten people raised their hands. It was like they were expecting it. One dude said he'd even escort me there. And when we arrived to the office, the line was quick, and I got the whole thing completed in under an hour.

Plus I made a friend.
Check out more tips at:

Monday, December 1, 2008

I'm too old for this shit

So I went to a Tribal Funk party at Mezzanine on Saturday and stayed out really freakin late....(or should I say early:) And was so hammered I was tuning in and out of the sound of the music, the definition in people's faces, and any conversation that lasted more than one or two sentences.


I'm pretty sure that my tendencies to be a total bitch cunt when wasted have toned themselves down now that I'm older, but I can't be sure; and whenever I feel like I'm ready to piece together the separate moments of the night into a single, detailed memory I cringe a little somewhere deep inside and force my brain to look away.

Not healthy behavior, really.

But I can't deny this urge to destroy myself sometimes. Day-to-day living can make me feel like I'm holding my breath for something to meaningful to happen, and if I go too long not breathing I need to destroy.

Anyway, like I said I'm fairly certain that my aggro tendencies have mellowed over the years, but I have some horror stories of picking fights with cherished friends, heckling DJs that didn't impress me, even kicking some dude that was mean to me in the face. The sad thing? The face-kicking moment was like the HIGHLIGHT of that boring ass party for everyone. They finally had something to talk about, rally around, bitch about.


I'm not unhappy, I'm just sayin.....
I guess I'll go to yoga tomorrow. I've got to let my breath out somehow.