Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Vanishd.com

yes, it's true, that sinister freak that sits in the cube next to you may actually be surfing porn. Hence the drool. Ew. Check it:

Make your co-workers, bosses, friends, and family think you're working. Surf the web in privacy. Cover any web page with a fake work document or another web page and PEEK THROUGH A HOLE to surf without anyone seeing.

read more | digg story

Monday, July 28, 2008

Pirate Bay Wants Total Network Encryption, But Who Else?

The Pirate Bay has ambitious plans to bring end-to-end encryption to all network activity, essentially blacking out a user's traffic from deep packet inspection gear and other prying eyes. Interesting project, sure, and definitely ambitious, but will it work? We doubt it, at least in the near term, and here's why.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Song Kow-tow #2


Link to Trapeze Swinger on imeem

why i kow-tow:
This song was featured in a fairly lame movie called "In Good Company". The movie starred the skinny dude from "That 70's show" (Topher Grace), Scarlett Johansson, and Dennis Quaid as
a middle-aged ad exec faced with a new boss who's nearly half his age (Topher) and who also happens to be sleeping with his daughter (Scarlett).

The song is so deep who gives a shit about the movie cheese. It starts out with one of Sam Beam strumming softly. Lyrics are:
Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin

So right away you're transported to a childlike, unrequited moment. It was the moment that kept you anguished for an entire summer. It was the moment that you can still taste when you think back now. When you hear this song. That helps.

Check it out.
Love.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Mars oppostion Uranus. Or why I tore my bikram teacher a new one.

So I've been exploring my chart lately for personal reasons. Mainly, just trying to identify and consciously try to work on problem areas in my daily behaviors.

One aspect in my chart that really jumped out at me was Mars opposition Uranus. The way it was described was kind of terrifying. And I didn't completely acknowledge this energy within me. Here's an excerpt:



"The revolutionary tendency is very strong, and you will have a natural antipathy towards traditions and static patterns of acceptable social lifestyles.

Your attitude will be anti-authoritarian, and you will be iconoclastic in your questioning of the status quo, and critical of those who are in positions of social responsibility and power. Hypocrisy from 'leaders especially upsets you, and you can be scathing in denouncing it. In fact, you probably have developed a fairly demanding set of personal principles and ideals from which you perceive the world.

Your personality can be very assertive, even aggressive and combative. You have an image of yourself 'at war' with whatever you disagree with, whether this is just a war that you fight in your own head, or it is one that you externalise by opposing social establishments that you dislike. There is a stimulation for you in conflict; and whilst it may not always be openly displayed, you enjoy competition and intend to win and dominate. This is reminiscent of the Scorpio characteristics, which are reflected through this aspect, with the Mars-Scorpio link and Uranus exalted in Scorpio. The quality of assertiveness could be extrovertedly expressed, stridently and powerfully, or quietly through the power of a strong personal presence. "

After I read this I headed out to yoga. I bought a month of bikram recently, mainly b/c it's in my nabe and I really want to get into psychotically good shape just for a short while. I've done hot yoga previously for years, but avoided bikram b/c I think the people are weirdly cultish.

Anyway, I get into class and everything is rubbing me the wrong way. The teacher was shouting through her weird little Janet Jackson headset thingee, reprimanding people for taking sips of water at rests and tearing the character of a little Indian woman to shreds b/c she had to bounce to make it to work on time. WORK! wtf?

So I'm already not loving this woman and then I hear her voice break in again, "Maroon shirt! Hey Maroon girl!" I looked up from my child's pose, realizing I was maroon shirt girl.

"Why are you in child's pose? We don't do child's pose here. Get up."

I couldn't believe it. I was used to years of practice where I was the one to determine my own limitations and due to my knees being just five months out of surgery, I was modifying my moves to avoid putting too much stress on them.

But I didn't protest, I got up as the psychotic bikram monster requested, and wiped the sweat off my face with my towel, preparing for my next move. Next thing I know, the teacher is standing right next to me, practically foaming at the mouth.

"Why do you do that? You don't need to do that. Conserve your energy!" I realized she was upset with me for using my hand towel.

"I'm resting until we're done with this pose because I have bad knees." I say.

"They can't be that bad. Do the pose. You just think you can't do it." She replies. Through her creepy Janet Jackson microphone.

Finally, I've had enough. I start laughing at her. I pull up my the hem of my workout bottoms to show her my scars. "They're pretty bad. Take a look. According to western medicine, I shouldn't even be doing this at all. And since your version of yoga is so obviously westernized, you should probably chill the fuck out."

oh snap! Mars oppostion Uranus. It's like I was speaking in tongues people. I had no control.

This is my next personal goal: Stop Uranus from it's lightning power over me in stressful situations.

I mean, the teacher deserved it. It's the other students that I feel bad about. I pulled a huge layer of bad energy over their workout moment.

sigh.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Song Kow-tow #1

it opens:
"I felt you in my legs before I even met you
And when I laid beside you for the first time I told you
I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you
And now we're saying bye, bye, bye
Now we're saying bye, bye, bye
I was nineteen"

I mean I love the jangled heat, need, urgency that is this song.
And the kind of journal-like way she talks about it. Writing if off to being 19, but realizing that the urgency may never be that strong again.

Listen to it and remember your first love.
And then remember to love yourself as you were at that time.
You are still that person.


Link to song on Youtube

My latest quest for truth

Tantric Yoga in the Buddhist tradition is the newest place for me to find an escape from the insanity and dissatisfaction that is a lot of life right now. I'm not UNhappy. I'm actually having a pretty fun go at it. It's just that I'm not really feeling a point. To life, that is.

Yeah, I've felt this before. In the past I went all Existential. Nihilism turned into punk rock turned into drugs turned into TRUE pointlessness. Dang. Not pretty.

This time around chemicals aren't calling to me. This time, I'm interested in the true nature of mind, peacefulness, being alive. And hopefully avoiding all the creepy detours that can happen while on the path. You know, I'm not trying to be too touchy-feely God realm. Like the person who just "loves everything. It's just all so beautiful man. I just love it...."

Nor do I want to be someone with a monomania of sorts. Meaning, someone who ONLY talks about teachings. I want to be able to bob and weave and move towards whatever is of interest to me at the moment intellectually while maintaining an understanding in empty awareness.

Neither do I want to have be an ascetic. I think it's important to stay tuned into family, friends, my own dark side.

And I kind of have a crush on a bright eyed tantric yogi.
Shit. that better not be the reason why I'm doing this.

to be continued.