So I've been exploring my chart lately for personal reasons. Mainly, just trying to identify and consciously try to work on problem areas in my daily behaviors.
One aspect in my chart that really jumped out at me was Mars opposition Uranus. The way it was described was kind of terrifying. And I didn't completely acknowledge this energy within me. Here's an excerpt:
"The revolutionary tendency is very strong, and you will have a natural antipathy towards traditions and static patterns of acceptable social lifestyles.
Your attitude will be anti-authoritarian, and you will be iconoclastic in your questioning of the status quo, and critical of those who are in positions of social responsibility and power. Hypocrisy from 'leaders especially upsets you, and you can be scathing in denouncing it. In fact, you probably have developed a fairly demanding set of personal principles and ideals from which you perceive the world.
Your personality can be very assertive, even aggressive and combative. You have an image of yourself 'at war' with whatever you disagree with, whether this is just a war that you fight in your own head, or it is one that you externalise by opposing social establishments that you dislike. There is a stimulation for you in conflict; and whilst it may not always be openly displayed, you enjoy competition and intend to win and dominate. This is reminiscent of the Scorpio characteristics, which are reflected through this aspect, with the Mars-Scorpio link and Uranus exalted in Scorpio. The quality of assertiveness could be extrovertedly expressed, stridently and powerfully, or quietly through the power of a strong personal presence. "
After I read this I headed out to yoga. I bought a month of bikram recently, mainly b/c it's in my nabe and I really want to get into psychotically good shape just for a short while. I've done hot yoga previously for years, but avoided bikram b/c I think the people are weirdly cultish.
Anyway, I get into class and everything is rubbing me the wrong way. The teacher was shouting through her weird little Janet Jackson headset thingee, reprimanding people for taking sips of water at rests and tearing the character of a little Indian woman to shreds b/c she had to bounce to make it to work on time. WORK! wtf?
So I'm already not loving this woman and then I hear her voice break in again, "Maroon shirt! Hey Maroon girl!" I looked up from my child's pose, realizing I was maroon shirt girl.
"Why are you in child's pose? We don't do child's pose here. Get up."
I couldn't believe it. I was used to years of practice where I was the one to determine my own limitations and due to my knees being just five months out of surgery, I was modifying my moves to avoid putting too much stress on them.
But I didn't protest, I got up as the psychotic bikram monster requested, and wiped the sweat off my face with my towel, preparing for my next move. Next thing I know, the teacher is standing right next to me, practically foaming at the mouth.
"Why do you do that? You don't need to do that. Conserve your energy!" I realized she was upset with me for using my hand towel.
"I'm resting until we're done with this pose because I have bad knees." I say.
"They can't be that bad. Do the pose. You just think you can't do it." She replies. Through her creepy Janet Jackson microphone.
Finally, I've had enough. I start laughing at her. I pull up my the hem of my workout bottoms to show her my scars. "They're pretty bad. Take a look. According to western medicine, I shouldn't even be doing this at all. And since your version of yoga is so obviously westernized, you should probably chill the fuck out."
oh snap! Mars oppostion Uranus. It's like I was speaking in tongues people. I had no control.
This is my next personal goal: Stop Uranus from it's lightning power over me in stressful situations.
I mean, the teacher deserved it. It's the other students that I feel bad about. I pulled a huge layer of bad energy over their workout moment.
sigh.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment